"Everyone has to eat, Mr. Coyote. You should understand that betterthan anyone." "You, uh, have a point, ma'am. But before the fun starts, I wonder if youcould . . . grant me a last wish?" "Mr. Coyote, we'd be dreadful hostesses if we didn't! Just tell me whatyou need!" "My chewing tobacco. It's in my backpack. A little chaw always calms medown . . . I hope you understand." "Well," said Lucretia, "I think it's a pretty icky habit, but far be itfrom me to deny a coyote's last wish." She nodded to one of the girls–Atsuko,or was it Miao-Miao?–and the evil lovely ran over to the backpack andbegan rummaging through it. Coyote held his breath; the proximity of a vampireshould do the trick, but you never could tell with these Acme gadgets. Suddenly there was a loud, roaring sound. Atsuko (Miao-Miao?) gave a littleshriek and fell back on her shapely derriere. Coyote shouted out to the startledvampires: "Aha, you evil harpies, prepare to meet your doom!" Thenthe backpack tipped over on. "Loser, we're jocks. When we see an opportunity, we take it. Malcolm spied you lugging the chest in here and overheard you say chocolate to that old broad. Your mum, eh? Not a bad looker for someone who had a boy as ugly as you."The door slammed behind me, my body quivering from their threatening subtext. Egg white dripped down my nose. I think I had a fit then. The immediate afterward is a blur in my memory. I jumped up and hollered, cursing them. I cursed myself more. After washing my head in a sink I took inventory of what was left: three eggs, whipping cream, butter, and a sack of flour evidently used in a game of catch. Even the vanilla bottle was missing. One of them must have been able to read the word alcohol on the label. I was upset, but I wasn't devastated. I prowled around the kitchen looking for something, anything that might help me get a grip. In the far corner of the same closet I found a cardboard box of old food stuffs. Most schools don't offer cooking classes.
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